The push-me-pull-you of this fall's shared expenses continues. I'll receive an email saying "I'll pay you when I can" to "I need to see receipts", again. When I received another one of these latter emails yesterday, this SNL skit popped into my head, and I chuckled - hopefully you will too!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Looking fabulous
I'm wearing a sheer, short-sleeved black blouse, my black pencil skirt, and my sassy metallic shoes. I had a blind lunch date. No, he wasn't blind, has all his teeth and hair and graciously paid for lunch. We managed conversation through 90% of the meal. The only, albeit minor, red flag was that he got a cat after he and his wife separated. As many of you know, I'm very allergic thus my suspicion that cats may be the spawn of satan (of course, if you've seen me after I've had an allergy attack from cats, I could be mistaken for satan).
No idea if there will be a 2nd date, just glad I made it through date one! Glad to get out of my comfort zone for an hour. Now I need to find a better response for 'what do you do for fun' as my response today was that most recently, I went to Target without children and found that to be fun!
No idea if there will be a 2nd date, just glad I made it through date one! Glad to get out of my comfort zone for an hour. Now I need to find a better response for 'what do you do for fun' as my response today was that most recently, I went to Target without children and found that to be fun!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
And here we go round the mulberry bush.....
It began with the shoes. He has not purchased any clothing, other than her crew uniform, for more than a year. It seemed reasonable to ask that he take care of purchasing the elder child new running shoes since he has not provided any additional funds since I've had her full time (now 23 months). When I sent him the accounting for September he insisted on deducting the shoes; shoes have never been considered a shared expense. He also bought himself an expensive pair of running shoes at the same time....
Then came October. Still, no reimbursement for September expenses (because of the shoes) and now he owes me money for October shared expenses as well. Initially he indicated he would pay me within a couple of days but then the inner Kraken was released. Here is a brief glimpse of what has followed:
KC: When you do not meet your financial responsibilities on time, you are taking advantage of me and it is fortunate that I am able to budget accordingly to cover these expenses on behalf of our children. I am now out $679 for an undefined period of time which is frustrating and unfortunate.
JW: Can you help me understand what the problem is for you?
(Apparently, not.)
JW: If you are in agreement with Frances continuing Ballet, I'll sign Frances up for winter session and pay for it as an offset to the JCC expenses I owe you in the next couple weeks.
KC: I would prefer to postpone any new shared expenses until September/October shared expenses are resolved.
(note: this session of Ballet doesn't begin until January 7th and we can pay as late as the day class begins AND I'm covering the rowing fees for this month)
JW: Why is it in our children's interest that you again endanger their activities by holding them hostage to our disagreement about the shoes?
Huh?
Then there would be the 13 emails arguing that he should have Frances this Veteran's Day holiday even though he acknowledges that our standing agreement has been that whoever has the children the day preceding a holiday keeps them for the adjoining holiday - in this case, I have the kids on Wednesday so would keep them on Thursday. It wasn't until the 5th message that I got a clue as to what he was actually after:
JW: I forgot to mention in my previous message that I can also trade the time this comimg thursday for a few hours over thanksgiving weekend. Kristen's parents will be in town then and would like to see the gals.
As someone remarked, it is amazing that I've not become a drunkard!
Then came October. Still, no reimbursement for September expenses (because of the shoes) and now he owes me money for October shared expenses as well. Initially he indicated he would pay me within a couple of days but then the inner Kraken was released. Here is a brief glimpse of what has followed:
KC: When you do not meet your financial responsibilities on time, you are taking advantage of me and it is fortunate that I am able to budget accordingly to cover these expenses on behalf of our children. I am now out $679 for an undefined period of time which is frustrating and unfortunate.
JW: Can you help me understand what the problem is for you?
(Apparently, not.)
JW: If you are in agreement with Frances continuing Ballet, I'll sign Frances up for winter session and pay for it as an offset to the JCC expenses I owe you in the next couple weeks.
KC: I would prefer to postpone any new shared expenses until September/October shared expenses are resolved.
(note: this session of Ballet doesn't begin until January 7th and we can pay as late as the day class begins AND I'm covering the rowing fees for this month)
JW: Why is it in our children's interest that you again endanger their activities by holding them hostage to our disagreement about the shoes?
Huh?
Then there would be the 13 emails arguing that he should have Frances this Veteran's Day holiday even though he acknowledges that our standing agreement has been that whoever has the children the day preceding a holiday keeps them for the adjoining holiday - in this case, I have the kids on Wednesday so would keep them on Thursday. It wasn't until the 5th message that I got a clue as to what he was actually after:
JW: I forgot to mention in my previous message that I can also trade the time this comimg thursday for a few hours over thanksgiving weekend. Kristen's parents will be in town then and would like to see the gals.
As someone remarked, it is amazing that I've not become a drunkard!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
"It is ludicrous to the point of hilarity..
...for you to attempt to dictate my spending priorities to me. How would you react if I made a similar statement to you?"
Response to: Debt repayment should be considered a priority and be paid as soon as possible.
This, after 8 months of me patiently waiting for him to finish reimbursing me during which he's had two vacations and bought a new car. Me thinks he is no longer taking his meds.
Response to: Debt repayment should be considered a priority and be paid as soon as possible.
This, after 8 months of me patiently waiting for him to finish reimbursing me during which he's had two vacations and bought a new car. Me thinks he is no longer taking his meds.
Monday, November 9, 2009
And there's more
Three years ago the crazy man bought his 'ideal' car - a Subaru station wagon, all wheel drive. Granted it was used but even used it cost close to what I paid for my brand new Toyota Matrix. The Subaru, it turned out, was a lot of grief and extra expense as things kept breaking on it, such the transmission in the 6th week of ownership. I've no idea how much the thing has actually been driven by the crazy man as he now either bikes most places or takes Muni downtown to the studio post move to the Mission.
Hence my surprise when he mentioned that he would be going to Reno to pick up a new car. Initially I thought 'new to him' not brand new. Ahh, still naive you say? Or perhaps just wishful thinking that by getting rid of the Subaru and buying something used that he may have money left-over to cover his growing debt to me. Ha - as if!
A brand new Yaris was purchased, Subaru turned in to off-set price. Now, I realize that the Yaris is a very inexpensive car, gets fabulous gas mileage and is not suitable to a photographer with a whole lot of gear. Apparently, this is the 'around town car'...yes, that's right, the 'around town car' because of the gas mileage and the ease of parking. He takes the g-friend's Honda CRV for jobs however there has been talk of replacing this with the larger Honda Passport - duh, new of course.
Yes, that's right folks. The priorities are: vacations, new vehicles, and eating out instead of consistently meeting the legal obligation of supporting the children. Oh, and, all those times he agreed to shared expenses but couldn't pony up....
Hence my surprise when he mentioned that he would be going to Reno to pick up a new car. Initially I thought 'new to him' not brand new. Ahh, still naive you say? Or perhaps just wishful thinking that by getting rid of the Subaru and buying something used that he may have money left-over to cover his growing debt to me. Ha - as if!
A brand new Yaris was purchased, Subaru turned in to off-set price. Now, I realize that the Yaris is a very inexpensive car, gets fabulous gas mileage and is not suitable to a photographer with a whole lot of gear. Apparently, this is the 'around town car'...yes, that's right, the 'around town car' because of the gas mileage and the ease of parking. He takes the g-friend's Honda CRV for jobs however there has been talk of replacing this with the larger Honda Passport - duh, new of course.
Yes, that's right folks. The priorities are: vacations, new vehicles, and eating out instead of consistently meeting the legal obligation of supporting the children. Oh, and, all those times he agreed to shared expenses but couldn't pony up....
Friday, October 16, 2009
And the Wild Rumpus Starts
Clearly, it is mid-October. And those in the know know that things are particularly crazy mid-October through mid-March. This year will be no different and I can only hope that I am shouldering the brunt of it as I really want the g-friend to stick around for at least another year! True, this is purely selfish on my part but I believe that I am due.
Two or three weeks ago I was alerted that the crazy former mother-in-law was coming for a visit on the 16th (today) and, as it is technically my weekend, was asked if it would be okay for the girls to have dinner with her. No problem for me, details to arrive later.
It is the 16th. No details arrived. I initiated the call and got a mouthful of crazy - in short, there was no plan. Apparently, the mother-in-law, already in town, was not making her grandchildren a priority (not the first time either). A second call was required to determine that the crazy man and his mother would pick the children up from my house at 6pm-ish and return the girls after dinner. All that for two hours with their grandmother.
Fortunately my girls know crazy and don't have high expectations for either the crazy man or his mother. Their main concern is that they will be forced to eat icky food as their grandmother will only eat out at diners or chain restaurants. You know she only eats Kashi cereal otherwise.
Two or three weeks ago I was alerted that the crazy former mother-in-law was coming for a visit on the 16th (today) and, as it is technically my weekend, was asked if it would be okay for the girls to have dinner with her. No problem for me, details to arrive later.
It is the 16th. No details arrived. I initiated the call and got a mouthful of crazy - in short, there was no plan. Apparently, the mother-in-law, already in town, was not making her grandchildren a priority (not the first time either). A second call was required to determine that the crazy man and his mother would pick the children up from my house at 6pm-ish and return the girls after dinner. All that for two hours with their grandmother.
Fortunately my girls know crazy and don't have high expectations for either the crazy man or his mother. Their main concern is that they will be forced to eat icky food as their grandmother will only eat out at diners or chain restaurants. You know she only eats Kashi cereal otherwise.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Blessed be
Just got an email from the crazy man and, as predicted, he is moving in with the partner and her children as of June 1st. I sincerely hope that he has disclosed his financial status to her including that he owes me for two months of child support and shared expenses so that she fully understands what she is getting into. Bless her for taking him on.
Supposedly my youngest is fine with this 'transition' and he's hoping that eldest will return his call regarding this change in venue. To recap, the eldest has not spoken with him in months and she's a bit miffed that he's been loaning her books to the new step-daughter without asking.
The crazy man is also anxious to reduce the amount of child support he is supposed to pay based on his declining income - not increase it now that I have eldest full-time. Apparently he was not paying attention in court when the judge told a stay-at-home mom to get a job. I am confident this judge would dispense the same advice to the crazy man. Nor did he mention how his expenses would be changing with the new living arrangement....
It never stays dull for long!
Supposedly my youngest is fine with this 'transition' and he's hoping that eldest will return his call regarding this change in venue. To recap, the eldest has not spoken with him in months and she's a bit miffed that he's been loaning her books to the new step-daughter without asking.
The crazy man is also anxious to reduce the amount of child support he is supposed to pay based on his declining income - not increase it now that I have eldest full-time. Apparently he was not paying attention in court when the judge told a stay-at-home mom to get a job. I am confident this judge would dispense the same advice to the crazy man. Nor did he mention how his expenses would be changing with the new living arrangement....
It never stays dull for long!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)